Coming back to life

A million years ago, I started this blog. I was looking for a creative outlet. My job had become comfortably hectic. Still stressful, still busy, still challenging, but all in that good, comfortable way that lets you know that you’re good at what you do.

And then everything changed at work. And then I changed jobs, and my whole world got messy.

I went to an organization that was not culturally sound, led by an insecure person with a Ph.D. in mind games. I was verbally and mentally abused at this organization, and I don’t mean that figuratively. I could not function on a personal level, because all my energy went into not getting yelled at or blamed for something. So I used games and movies as a mental escape from that insanity.

I quit running. I quit lifting weights. I quit caring about my appearance. I quit caring about much of anything other than my daughter. And so much of my family’s day to day existence fell to my husband to manage. And he’s an entrepreneur, which is an 80-hour-a-week “job”. So, he didn’t sleep for a couple years. A very long couple of years.

I have a new job. One that doesn’t include any kind of abuse. I’m starting to shed the victim mentality (hide, stay under the radar, avoid reality), and I feel like I’m coming out of a long slumber. Coming to life again.

It feels like the right time to resurrect this dusty old blog.


So… how’s it going?

OMG! It’s been, like, forever since we’ve seen each other! How have you been? I’m good. Well, I mean, I’m busy, a little overwhelmed, and I haven’t been eating that great, but other than that I’m doing really well. LOL (((hug)))


A few things have happened since I last wrote.

  • I survived the Spartan Sprint in New York! My time wasn’t very good, but I met my goal of living through it! And, I made some new friends, had a BLAST, and learned a lot about myself. I definitely need to post about my experience here. I wrote a big, long blog post about it on MyFitnessPal, and I’m proud of the accomplishment, so I need to share here, too.
  • I have let my workouts and my eating habits go to hell. I haven’t done a damn thing in far too long. I ran while on vacation, which was a huge win for me, but after that, I’ve just been slacking.
  • My housekeeping routine got completely forgotten, as I let my RememberTheMilk pro account lapse, and I stopped getting reminders, and it turns out that was all that was keeping me on track! Ugh! I paid for my pro account again, so I’ll begin getting reminders this afternoon.
  • My professional life has been very busy. There were some major changes made at the office, and as a result, the workload for everyone on the team shifted a bit. This created a burden of stress that I’ve carried with me outside the office, and I believe it is what is driving the lapses elsewhere.

As this blog is not about idle chit-chat, but about improving myself and writing about how I go about it, you must be expecting me to reveal my big plan right about now, eh? (Did I mention that I met a couple of delightful Canadians during the Spartan weekend? I did, and they were delightful, eh! Sorry.)

My big plan

I don’t have one. You heard me right. I don’t have a big plan. I believe that I’m in a transition phase right now, and I’m going to allow the fates (and my own intuition) to guide me for the time being.

While I’m being guided by fate and intuition (didn’t Jewel sing about that in a razor commercial?), I’m going to try to be a much stronger contributor at home. I’ve really been crap about that, so I owe it to my family to pick up the slack there.

That’s about it. I’ve allowed myself to be human, and I’ve wallowed in my human-ness for a few months. I am starting to feel my mojo coming back, which is awesome, and that’s why I felt the need to write today.

Tomorrow, I might have an epiphany, and decide that it’s time to create and unveil my next big plan. But, for today, I’m just going to try to do a bit better at picking up after myself and my family at home, while I continue to work hard at work.

What’s going on with you? How have you improved over the past few months? What have you experimented with? Where is your mojo? Let’s strike up this conversation again.

Image source: Firestone SA